I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
