I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
