I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
