I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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