You're my little dorito
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You need a sexual gate keeper
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
