For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
