if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
