and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
