ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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