when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my being single is dangerous.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
do nipples grow back?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
