Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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