just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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