I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
