I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
A+ Viking dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
