I didn't shave. On purpose
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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