you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have fence marks all over my body
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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