Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
