I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
40s are totally the cure
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
