You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
