Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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