I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
