If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
