i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
