Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
