It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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