she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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