My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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