My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
