I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
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dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
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Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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