jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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