I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
