Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
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I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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