my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
