The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
