I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
