Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
barbara walters just said penis...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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