Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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