I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
