Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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