Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Gay?
German.
Pity.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
