i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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