just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
