If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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