fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
