my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize