Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
