ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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