He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
