if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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