If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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