i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize