Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
