Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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