so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think my fart just growled at me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
