So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
