her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
