i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
