Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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